Two and a Half Men + One Rock God

Well, fall is just around the corner. Kids are back in school. The Mall is actually someplace I enjoy venturing out to on a weekday again. College Football starts this weekend (WOO HOO!) It's still about 90 degrees every day... but that I can live with. That means one of my Very Favorite times of year is fast approaching... Fall TV Premiere Week. (Yes, I lead a very full and exciting life). Ah, September, when night after night after night I can curl up on the couch and bask in the glow of new programming. Well, usually on my DVR, so I don't have to watch the commercials... I'm particularly excited about September 20th, when two of my favorite comedies premiere -- "Big Bang Theory" and "Two and a Half Men" on CBS. Both are created/produced by Chuck Lorre, who is a freakin' comedy genius. They are "Must See TV" for me (sorry, NBC). Anyway, this year Two and a Half Men is gonna have a little extra somethin' that has me excited. The premiere has a cameo by Eddie Van Halen! And he plays the guitar (of course)! The episode was taped a couple weeks ago, and is supposed to be "hysterically funny." But then again, I think EVERY episode of "Men" is hilarious. I mean, Hell, how could a show with episode titles like "Prostitutes and Gelato," "Young People Have Phlegm Too," and "Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?" NOT be funny? Though I must say I am consistently amazed at the level of downright dirtiness they get away with on primetime TV. I saw Charlie Sheen on "Inside the Actors' Studio" awhile back and he said the same thing... that he can't believe some of the jokes in the show actually make it on air.

Ah, Charlie. He's one of my Bad Boy crushes. Has been since I saw him on that police station couch in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off," waaaaay back in 1986.

And he's still a damned fine-looking man, despite all he's put his body through. A seriously funny comedic actor, as well. Eddie's appearance won't be the first time a bona-fide Rock Star has appeared on "Men." Steven Tyler and Elvis Costello also appeared as themselves, and Enrique Iglesias played a very Handy handyman.

There have been a ton of big-name celebs who have guested on the show, as well, including Heather Locklear, Michael Clarke-Duncan, Jenna Elfman, Sean Penn, and James Earl Jones. Charlie's Dad Martin Sheen and his brother Emilio Estevez have also appeared. So, I know it's probably wishful thinking, but wouldn't it be great if JBJ showed up on an episode of "Men" sometime? He could play himself. Hell, Charlie's character lives in Malibu, so why couldn't Jonny pop by to say hello, bring a plate of cookies, sunbathe naked on the beach.... Oh, sorry. Drifted off there for a minute. And Richie has some acting under his belt, too. He's definite guest star material. Er... well, maybe not, given real-life history. After all, Charlie was married to She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named... (I still haven't forgiven her for cursing my Cubbies with her "performance" at Wrigley Field.) Well, no matter who appears on the show, I'll be watching and DVR-ing faithfully all season. It's bound to be Funny as Crap.

And as a little bonus, a "cherry-on-top" if you will, at the end of every episode Chuck Lorre posts funny little vanity cards. You never know what he's gonna come up with, but it always makes me laugh. And because they are often lengthy and hard to freeze-frame to read, he was nice enough to post them on his website. Here's a sample:

WARNING TO MALE VIEWERS!

Despite the comic conceit of tonight's episode, ingesting "semi-lethal quantities of alcohol" in order to overcome the deep-seated fear that women will reject you, is a terrible idea. We, the producers of Two and a Half Men, do NOT recommend it. If you are struggling with this fear we strongly urge you to seek healthier solutions. A few to consider are: Becoming handsome. Becoming rich. Becoming a famous musician, actor, writer, director or artist. Becoming a famous athlete. Becoming a brooding loser who is also handsome. Becoming funny. Becoming thin. Becoming old. Becoming apathetic. Becoming a woman. Becoming a college professor. Becoming a religious leader. Becoming psychotic (this allows one to achieve the steely confidence bestowed by alcohol, but without the attendant liver damage). Having really big muscles and hanging around simple women. Having drugs and hanging around women who are addicted to them. Having food and hanging around hungry women. Having the inner joy that comes from knowing you're a one-of-a-kind miracle of creation, and that even if women reject you, you are still a beloved child of God... you just ain't gettin' laid tonight. If you need a good, long belly-laugh... his site is the place to get it. Or watch that crazy cheeseburger-lovin' cat on YouTube. Eddie and Charlie... Ooooh, I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it! Hurry up, September!